living fearlessly

I have lived a life based in fear. Not traditional fear like you may imagine. I haven’t opted out of locations based on where the deadliest snakes live, nor have I avoided traveling to cities based on fear that the plane ride over may crash. No, the fear I am talking about is what others may refer to as ‘success.’ This fear is a lot harder to visualize, its intangible quality leading to furious philosophical debates. Is the fast-paced Western world’s idea of life equivalent to success? What does it mean to take a year off work? What does it mean to opt out of the path that is seemingly fed to us on silver and gold spoons?

I grew up following what I presumed to be society’s ‘blueprint for success.’ Graduate high school with high honors. Be accepted into and attend a well-renown university. Be accepted into and attend a well-renown graduate program. Accumulate as many letters behind your name as possible. Never stop.

I grew up assuming that to “stop” was to “give up.” To “stop” and to simply be was equivalent to a lazy, unfulfilling life. To be anything other than the cream of the crop was a petty waste of time. And, by following this so-called blueprint to success, I quite literally fell apart.

You see, what I’ve come to realize is that we are living in a world so critically attached to external circumstances that we forget what it really is like to live. We forget that there is, in fact, scientifically even, a greater power that exists within each of us that is fueling this thing we call ‘life.’ Instead, we become accustomed to the external body and how we can make it fitter, tanner, or more ‘perfect.’ We become attached to labels we can stick on ourselves: awards, honors, titles, endowments, friendships, etc. We associate with others who exist within our socially defined circles, and commit ourselves to raising families engrained in the same roots of external successes.

Somewhere in the midst of all of this, we forget the true essence of life: that which is internal rather than external. We forget to endow ourselves with compassion, self-love, gratitude and serenity for fear that in doing so we will be labeled as ‘selfish,’ an ideal that does not belong in society’s blueprint of success. We commit ourselves to our families, our jobs, our communities, and our commitments with little concern for the universal spirit that resides within us. We become wrapped up in our thinking—a thinking that is ignited with flames from both the past and the future but rarely the present. We become so consumed in this fire that before we know it we have exhausted our resources and lie gasping for air.

But sometimes, when we hit what appears to be ‘rock bottom,’ something inside of us wakes up. We have nowhere else to turn but inside. We realize the untapped potential that resides in us. We begin to pay attention to the spirit inside that is unburdened by thought, unaffected by past events or future worries. We learn to listen to the experience occurring inside us rather than to the voices that exist inside our heads. We temporarily abandon intellectual thinking in lieu of the power of the present moment. This doesn’t mean that we forget all our past efforts and skills and accomplishments. Rather, we continue to honor those achievements while understanding that they do not define us.

What happens as a result is the greatest gift in life: we realize that we are already enough. We are intrinsically good and sufficiently whole. Nothing external can strip us of this fact. We can, however, lose sight of this knowledge. But we can never lose the goodness that exists in all of us. We can never not be enough, we can never be unworthy, we can never be unlovable or insufficient.

Holding onto this knowledge can be tricky. So much of our world seeks to convince us that we are not enough. We will be tempted over and over again to believe that something outside of us will help us reach true happiness. But the good news is that we always have the power to turn inward. We always have the power to realize the real truth: that what is inside of us is far superior to what is outside of us. That fear is only a thought, and that we alone have the power to become fearless.